So today my mom, siblings, and I traveled to my hometown. The place that I always refer to as home - St. George! I can actually breath, and see the stars tonight!! <3 .="." :=":" a="a" again="again" all="all" always="always" amazing="amazing" and="and" are="are" around="around" back="back" be="be" but="but" city="city" did="did" don="don" down="down" dread="dread" even="even" feel="feel" free="free" friends="friends" george="george" glad="glad" gone="gone" hard.="hard." harder="harder" have="have" how="how" i="i" in="in" it="it" jen="jen" just="just" known.="known." like="like" live="live" living="living" lot="lot" love="love" m="m" many="many" me="me" most="most" moving="moving" much.="much." much="much" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" night="night" now="now" of="of" out="out" p="p" realized="realized" s="s" she="she" so="so" some="some" st.="st." still="still" t="t" that="that" the="the" then="then" there.="there." there="there" tied="tied" to="to" tomorrow="tomorrow" travel="travel" ve="ve" vegas="vegas" we="we" when="when" who="who" without="without" wondered="wondered">
When we got here we had dinner and then went to see Aladdin and Tuacahn <3 -="-" a="a" absolutely="absolutely" acting="acting" aladdin="aladdin" also="also" am="am" amazing="amazing" amphitheater="amphitheater" an="an" and="and" are="are" be="be" beast="beast" beauty="beauty" been="been" broadway="broadway" camelot="camelot" cinderella="cinderella" cute="cute" did="did" do="do" doing="doing" done="done" effects="effects" fair="fair" get="get" go="go" going="going" grateful="grateful" hairspray="hairspray" haven="haven" how="how" i="i" if="if" it="it" just...everything="just...everything" lady="lady" little="little" ll="ll" love="love" loved="loved" mary="mary" mention="mention" mermaid="mermaid" much="much" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" never="never" next="next" non="non" not="not" now="now" on="on" one="one" only="only" outside="outside" permission="permission" play.="play." play="play" plays="plays" poppins="poppins" put="put" regret="regret" roadway="roadway" s="s" season.="season." see="see" so="so" stunning="stunning" suggest="suggest" t="t" tarzan="tarzan" that="that" the="the" theater="theater" they="they" tickets="tickets" to="to" tuacahn="tuacahn" ve="ve" was="was" whenever="whenever" you="you">probably
cheaper than Broadway plays, but same quality (I could be wrong. We always get this military discount because of my grandpa).
Well as I sit and ponder under these amazing stars (if you have the ability to see stars every night be grateful! Don't take it for granted! I envy you!) my mind goes to Kelly. He's already meeting people - girls. He actually had this foam party tonight and went with the girls (two) that he met and with their group. He was telling me how it was good he went with them because they helped him loosen up. I'm SO glad he's having fun and that he's happy! I can't stress that enough. But...I just can't torture myself. I just sit here and think about all the beautiful women he'll meet and how me might be attracted to one of them. I need to let him be free and to be able to do whatever he wants - even though I'm not holding him back. But I also need to let him go for me so I don't feel like this. I miss him so much, and when I see a picture my heart skips a beat. I really like this guy....like A LOT...possibly...yeah. But I don't want to...but I need to. Slowly stop talking to him as much. Keep in touch via e-mail, once a week. So that way we stay friends and we stay close and get even closer, but I'm not killing myself. But I also think that doing that will kill me. So no matter what, people (me) get hurt. What way would be the best way? This is what I'm finding myself ask myself. I can't tell if he feels the same way I do, I can't tell if he likes me as much as I like him, I can't tell if he'd rather just be left alone or if he'd rather talk everyday like we do. Maybe when I see him next I can ask him, I can talk to him. I don't think this is a conversation to be had via text though....I don't know. Maybe sleep will help my head sort through everything. I'm going to leave this and just see what happens. What do you guys think?
Well I am tired so I'm heading off to bed! Goodnight!
With Bewilderment,
Chelsea Marie :)
I like this song and I hope you enjoy it too!
So today my mom, siblings, and I traveled to my hometown. The place that I always refer to as home - St. George! I can actually breath, and see the stars tonight!! <3 I feel so amazing and free! I love St. George so much, and I'm just so glad to be out of the city! I dread tomorrow night when we have to travel back :( . I have realized that I don't like living in Vegas so much. Now that most of my friends who have tied me down there are gone, it's even harder to live there. I still have some amazing friends, but without so many it's hard. I've always wondered how Jen did the moving around a lot, but then again it's all she's known.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got here we had dinner and then went to see Aladdin and Tuacahn <3 I LOVE that theater!! It's an outside amphitheater, and the only NON BROADWAY theater to get permission to do Broadway plays! <3 They've done Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Tarzan, The Little Mermaid, Hairspray, My Fair Lady, and now Aladdin! They are also going to be doing Mary Poppins and Camelot next season. I LOVE Tuacahn and am grateful whenever I get to go see a play. Aladdin was AMAZING! I loved it so much! The acting was amazing - not to mention how Aladdin was SO CUTE!!! I love the effects they did and just...everything! If you haven't been to a Tuacahn play, I suggest you go see one! They put on absolutely stunning plays and you'll never regret it! And not to mention the tickets are probably cheaper than Broadway plays, but same quality (I could be wrong. We always get this military discount because of my grandpa).
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ReplyDeleteChelsea, I love you very dearly.
ReplyDeleteHere is my advice (it comes from the New Era story "My Secret Crush" if you want to read the whole thing) :
"It was hard to always remember the eternal perspective because my worries threatened to crowd out other thoughts. Would the guy I liked ask me out? Should I ask him? Sometimes I wondered why Heavenly Father hadn’t created His children so that attraction wouldn’t be an issue until after high school!
...Admiring guys also helped me remember to prepare for the temple. Even though high school isn’t the time to build serious romantic relationships, thinking about love at a young age is normal. Our spirits long to be with someone because marriage is a part of Heavenly Father’s plan. As I reflected on my feelings and imagined what an eternal relationship might be like, I was even more determined to qualify for temple blessings...
Strong feelings can be hard to cope with. All my instincts told me I’d be happier channeling my energy toward the guy I liked—thinking about him, talking to him, spending time with him. But whenever I made the effort to ponder the eternal picture, my stress melted away and I was happier. I knew I could find real peace by putting Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ first in my thoughts and actions. This meant studying the scriptures, attending church, finding ways to serve, working on Personal Progress, and following the instructions in my patriarchal blessing.
Nurturing my spirit made it easier to enjoy friendship and dating according to the standards outlined in For the Strength of Youth. Resisting the urge to pursue exclusive relationships wasn’t easy, but it blessed me. I gained spiritual strength by proving to myself I could make hard decisions, even when part of me felt like doing something else.
What could dating only one person in high school have accomplished? Possibly fun times, but also distraction from pursuing other goals, a lack of peace for ignoring Church teachings, and heartbreak when the relationship ended."
I really, truly care about you, and I want you to be the happiest, most spiritual, most fulfilled daughter of God you can be. Good Luck, and I am here for you if you ever want to talk or scream or cry or laugh.